


Human Bodies are Crazy Beautiful

by ArtHistory



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Aging, F/M, Marriage, Sexual Content, Weight Gain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 19:08:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7695904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtHistory/pseuds/ArtHistory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Humans get softer as they age. That's sick as fuck.</p>
<p>Vegeta tries to be a good husband by growing a terrible mustache...among other things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Human Bodies are Crazy Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> A plot bunny that got away from me looking through stupidoomdoodles art. Specifically these two links.
> 
> http://stupidoomdoodles.tumblr.com/post/105307263224/this-is-the-only-explanation-ill-accept-from-you
> 
> http://stupidoomdoodles.tumblr.com/post/97396301229/i-was-asked-to-draw-some-heavier-built-vegeta-for
> 
> The tags for her “heavier built Vegeta” and wanting to draw him bigger combined with seeing that comic sparked this. Hope all enjoyed!)

It had all started when she cried.  
  
Vegeta hated when she cried.

First, it made his insides hurt. Like someone’s hand or something’s razor-sharp tentacle appendage had lurched itself through his rock-hard, scar-covered abs and twisted. He knew this because he had experienced both, literally, but when Bulma cried there was no limb he could tear off at its socket and then rip from his middle.

This was because, second, Bulma never cried for a good reason. Like the violent severing of all her fingers and toes. Or the slicing of her scalp from her skull. Or hearing the glory that was Nick Minaj’s “Anaconda” for the very first time. No. It was always something…weird. Emotional. This meant he couldn’t immediately solve the problem by murdering whatever happened to be hurting her.

She didn’t even cry all that often, not really, not like she was crying now. Small, trying to hide it. Alone. He hurried into the room and sat down. A great, scowling rock with a high hairline in too-big sweats.  
  
“What is it? Are you feeling sick?” He asked, frowning, but not in deep frustration he constantly felt towards humans. Out of something he rarely felt – Concern.

Bulma looked to him, then to her mirror, pointing at it, sniffling.  
  
“Oh…look. Look at us.”  
  
Vegeta looked.  
  
He, the proud and true ruler of the Saiyans. God among humans. Perfect being in every way.  
  
Her, the bizarre blue- …slightly grey-ish now – genius. Entrepreneur. Billionaire scientist. God among humans.  Perfect being in every way.  
  
“We look like mother and son.” She said, voice wavering, finally throwing herself on to his slim, muscular thighs and weeping openly.  
  
Vegeta stared, then silently lifted her torso and wrapped his beefy arms about her, squeezing lightly.  


“Oh, Vegeta I’m so old! Why are you wasting your time with me when you look 30?! How can you stand the looks people give us?!!” She sobbed, melting back into his lap like a depressed liquid, pooling onto his legs as she cried.  
  
Vegeta stared at himself in the mirror.  
  
…What the fuck did older humans look like?  
  
He held Bulma for a little while, giving her slim back an awkward pat every now and then, a small rub up and down her spine. He kissed her once she’d finished crying, then rose as she did. In a few minutes she was back to work as always. Someone had to make their fortunes even bigger. He hovered by her for a half-hour, a watchful rotweiler, ready to punch whoever came into the room next for her amusement.   
  
It was Krillin.  
  
Bulma laugh as he exploded through the window.  
  
Vegeta smiled.  
  
She pecked his cheek and hummed as he exited the room, wandering out onto the street. He walked the roads for a while, turning at random times down any street he liked, looking at the humans that passed, trying to piece things together.

Older humans had wrinkles, like Bulma. Little lines around their eyes or their mouth.

He didn’t know how to get those.

Their hair was grey, or greying in a few spots, like hers.

He didn’t know how to get that.  
  
Then he saw two older men, and one older woman, sitting at a bus stop. They were smiling, talking. But all humans did that. They had wrinkles…and white hair, like all the others. But then he noticed their bodes. They were a little more hunched, but Bulma didn’t look like that. And…and they looked softer than most humans.  
  
Rounder.  
  
He sat down on the sidewalk and thought, heat almost visibly pouring out of him from the obviously spent energy.

Bulma had seemed softer lately. Not a lot. But a little.  
  
A little bit rounder at her middle, a bit more to grab on her ass. He liked both of those things, though she seemed not to…at least until he’d shown her how much he liked them.  
  
He stood hurriedly.  
  
Older humans were fatter.

Not all of them, but a lot of them. They got softer as they aged. He knew how to get fatter. If you ate too much, it happened. Genes played a big role, but like….yeah you could put on weight from eating. Maybe if he looked a little fatter, people would assume he and Bulma were the same age…or that he was older than her! And maybe a mustache….  
  
***  
  
Bulma didn’t wonder when Vegeta started eating them out of house and home, because that was normal. No, she started to wonder when he started to eat them out of house and home almost eight times a day. He’d shuffle into the kitchen, cram in everything they had, then shuffle out, muffling a belch into his fist or claiming they needed more ketchup. Then, she’d order the food re-stocked, and it would happen again. And again. And again.

And then she caught him standing naked in front of the mirror.  
  
Bulma had seen him naked before, obviously, and almost constantly, since being in bed together inevitably meant at least two rounds of sex. This seemed…different. He was looking at himself from side to side, then from the front, then smiling. He looked amazing. Strong arms, thick thighs, that handsome and vaguely menacing-looking face. And…and a pot belly.   
  
A round, jiggly little orb sitting on top of his abs. She wandered in, smirking.  
  
“Well hello there muffin-tops” She purred, surprising herself at how sensual her voice sounded. More Vegeta was just that, more Vegeta, and she wasn’t sure she could ever get enough Vegeta.  
  
He flushed, turning his head to kiss her cheek as she snaked her hands around his tummy, patting it lightly, squeezing at the thick, lower lip of it.  
  
They’d had sex right then. Right there in the bathroom. He’d hoisted her up onto the sink, and she couldn’t stop herself from staring at how perfectly her husband’s fat middle bounced as he thrust into her.   
  
***  
  
Bulma couldn’t stop herself from giggling.  
  
The horror on their server’s face when her mustachioed husband had demanded the entire menu, front and back, was simply too much.  
  
“Something funny?” Vegeta asked, turning to peck the head once again resting on his shoulder.  
  
And that shoulder was a lot softer than it had been just a few months before. Wide and smooth, still thick with muscle underneath, but the perfect pillow for a slightly drunk wife.  
  
Bulma slipped her arm around his, squeezing at the thick, soft bicep, grabbing until she felt the massive cord of muscle beneath it, then moving her arms to encircle Vegeta’s waist. They wouldn’t reach all the way around anymore, and she sighed happily, pausing and turning the man to kiss him, face no less menacing with a second chin.  
  
“What’s wrong with you? Weird human woman.” He grumbled, scratching the side of his belly as he leaned in to peck a kiss onto his nose.  


“A-Alright you two! S-Stand and deliver! Nobody has to get hurt!” A man said, approached with a knife.  
  
Vegeta beamed.  
  
He stepped away from Bulma, who simply crossed her arms as the man dove for her purse. It was the first excitement Vegeta had seen since he started this little adventure for his weepy, not-old wife, and though his body was strong and fast, he still wasn’t sure exactly where it was…  
  
“OOF!” The man cried, rocketing across the street and crashing through a pile of garbage cans.  
  
Vegeta blinked. His fist hadn’t made contact. Then he looked down.  
  
His middle jiggled excitedly.  
  
“…Did you just knock a guy out with your gut?”  
  
Vegeta looked back to his wife, nodding.  
  
“Bedroom. Now.”


End file.
